how much heart do we have to give? 

Been so tired of late. Think I'm just getting sian of sg. Can't wait to go on a hol to anywhere tt is not bintan or batam. Just wondering.. All the different sides of ourselves tt we show to different individuals.. why do we do that? I hv come to realize tt I am a seriously multi-faceted person (as I am sure everyone else is). I can be kind, super jovial, indifferent, chatty, passive, happy-go-lucky, emo, hidden, very open, serious, bimbotic, a bit lian at times (tho I hate them), crazy and totally normal. Everyone sees different sides of me but I'm not sure if anyone has yet to see all of me (no not literally). I think I need some form Of excitement in my life at the moment. Theres this song running in head now.. What can I say..

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know?
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know?
The way she feels inside
(Inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny
(Deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie
(Won't lie)
And now I try to lie
It's eating me apart
Trace this life back

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know?
Who has to know?

sportsmania!

okay great plans ahead! (alas plans may not alws result in action) but i are determined to do more sports! got to get back to my fit self man. what happened to the girl who used to get gold every napfa (forever 29pts cos of stupid shuttle run). things got to change! thinking of trying out a new sport. and perhaps playing badm twice a wk. AHAHHAA! WHO WILL JOIN ME?!!? :D 

i'm so addicted to all the things you do
all the sounds you make with every breath you take it's unlike anything
i'm so addicted to 
i'm so addicted to you. 

the new year has begun.. and i'm still not feeling it. somehow.. this time round time doesn't really seem to matter to me. i'm not sure why. prolly cos i can't seem to get a hold on it as of yet. still lost.. but hopeful! hoping to find a job i love (or like enough).. hoping to be fulfilled in life at least. taking each day one at a time, not much expectations as of yet.. prolly too early to make any. have yet to come up with my list of resolutions! but am inspired to do so. will get it done.. eventually. HAHA. i am super super gian to go on a hol (preferably to a cold country but seriously.. anywhere is gd enough) and i ABSOLUTELY CRAVE DIVING AND SNOWBOARDING! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! craves for the brave. i've come to accept certain things in life that i hv been delusioned and stubborn with before.. and i know now how things should be. have yet to do up my danny's list. will hv to rmb to do that soon. tho there's no way i cld forget him or anything about him. i still miss him a lot. everytime i think of him, my heart enters this blackhole that i stop myself from entering. cos i know.. once i enter.. there is no turning back. its been almost a year now.. but the wound is still fresh. the pain is immense and almost indescribable. it's so dark and deep i don't ever think i'll be able to claw my way back from it. alas, time may heal all wounds.. but can one really forget? or do we just move on?